Falling Double
by Frayed Misfit
Summary: A Marauder fic with RemusSirius and JamesLily pairings, romance mixed with angst, mystery and adventure this fic will span the marauders 7th year, through the Potters death and to the present day. Enjoy and please review!
1. Curtains of Dawn

**Falling Double**

**Chapter 1 – Curtains of Dawn**

**Disclaimer: **All characters, spells, world entities and general Harry Potter terms are the property of JK Rowling. The plot of Falling Double, original characters and ideas are the property of Frayed Misfit. Any song lyrics, poems and other inspiration will be in italics and duly noted in the authors note.

The dawn rose eagerly to meet the day, it knew what its light would reveal and how the day would unfold and it was pleased.

Sirius Black stretched and unfolded on his four-poster bed, his hands pushing back curtains of dark messy hair, his mouth yawning and fumbling over words that he had uncovered in his dreams. His legs fought the constraints of twisted bed sheets as he sat up, arms lifted above his head in a triumphant stretch, features sliding out of their sleep-ridden state and into complacent early morning smiles. The vacant bed to his left told him that James Potter was already on the quidditch pitch practicing for the following weekend's finals. In the other beds Remus Lupin was moaning quietly his hands clenching and unclenching the pillow by his head, and Peter Pettigrew was emitting loud snores through the side of his thin quivering lips. Sirius scratched his chest while idly staring out of the window of their tower room, the clouds were high and scarce, the sun was bright and already quite fierce, its heat beating down onto the Hogwarts grounds. Standing up and making his way to the window, Sirius could make out the dot of his best friend, flying spectacularly back and forth on the quidditch pitch, pulling out of an impressive wronksi feint while Sirius let out a low wolf whistle. The sound stirred Remus Lupin and he opened one amber eye, emitting a tiny "shut upppp."

Sirius laughed, sharp and bark-like, turning from the window to rummage in his trunk for clean jeans and a tee, James had the right idea, today was perfect quidditch weather. Making his way down to the grounds, he stopped in at the Great Hall to pick up a napkin full of toast and two large mugs of milky coffee, levitating them at a steady pace ahead of him. James and his broomstick got closer and closer as Sirius approached the stands, spotting Sirius, James spun around and sped off to meet him halfway, dismounting at a run they embraced each other warmly.

"G'morning Prongs!" Chimed Sirius, throwing an arm around James' shoulder.

"Toast!" Chided James, reaching for the levitated pile of toast, "mmm Strawberry Jam, my favourite. Ta Padfoot".

They sat on the cool grass, sipping the hot coffee and munching on squares of toast, eyeing the other students who milled around them, gossiping about relationships and enemies. Most students walked close to them, offering small waves, personal jokes, quidditch comments and general compliments. Everyone knew the Marauders, they were the most popular group in the school, adored by all except the group of fellow seventh year Slytherins who called themselves the 'Serpents'. Including the likes of Lucius Malfoy, Bellatrix Black, Todd MacNair, Bartimus Crouch Jr, Severus Snape and Rodulphus Lestrange they were not well liked but most obeyed them through sheer fear. They were growing in numbers and 'recruited' people as young as second years. Sirius hated them, loathed the way they maliciously ordered first years around, detested there scheming ways, their lies. His family had educated him to be like these people, vain, rude and malevolent, but his heart had always refused, rebuked the society that threatened to engulf him. He was glad to have reached Hogwarts, to have been sorted into Gryffindor and to have found his best friends, people who understood what people like the Serpents deserved. It had been somewhat of an aim of the Marauders lately, to ridicule, defeat and somehow reduce the strength of the Serpents. The daily news that confirmed Voldemort's growing strength and followers only set their decision to take the matter into their own hands, even one person could change the path of evil, and Sirius was determined to do so. The boys had been acting as spies at Hogwarts, listening in to Serpents conversations, finding out their plans and reporting to Professor Dumbledore. They were a little anti-league and it made them feel important and boosted their egos, not to say that they didn't take their job seriously.

"MacNair received a large package yesterday, reckon it could have anything to do with their new plot?" James spoke of the matter at hand.

"Nah, it looked like more of his mum's cooking, I stole a cupcake when his back was turned. You're on the right track though, the easiest way to get in information is still the post, do you reckon they'd risk the floo network?" Sirius added.

"Could do, we should check that Dumbledore has the fires covered, although I think he would have thought of that one" James mused.

A group of girls made their way to their spot on the grass, with them was Lily Evans who was slowly coming around to James' affections and almost seemed to enjoy his company now-a-days.

"Oh! Any toast left for me?" Enquired Rowena, a tall brunette who Sirius had been on a few dates with, she smiled and sat down between the boys.

"Let me just regurgitate mine for you, shall I?" Joked Sirius, he moved closer to her, making rude vomiting motions.

"Gross Sirius, grow up!" Chided Lily as Rowena laughed. Lily stood with her hands on her small hips, her red hair pulled into a side pony tail, her lips shinning with a gloss, she looked down to James briefly before joining in on the laughter.

"How has your study been going Lils?" Asked James, moving over to make room for Lily in their small circle.

"Oh please don't you start too! The whole grade is going on about NEWT's and study and I just don't want to think about it, it's bad enough that's all the professors talk about, let alone you." Lily sighed, her eyes looked tired and her brow was slightly furrowed.

James lifted a hand to her hair hesitantly, but she didn't brush it away. Sirius let out a low whistle and Lily blushed, looking away.

"What shall we talk about then? The graduation dance?" James laughed, already knowing where this conversation would lead.

"I've already told you, I'm going with someone else so there's nothing you can do about it." Lily spoke but her tone was soft and humorous, almost as if she was challenging James to rebuke.

"And I've already told you, I'm going with you, even if you have a date, there's nothing wrong with having two, you deserve two." James added, thoughtfully.

"Oh stop!" Sirius put in, "you guys are making me feel sick, enough of all this romantic la la, James, weren't we suppose to be playing quidditch?"

Reluctantly James nodded, getting to his feet and giving the back of his hair a little tease smiled down to Lily, "Catch you girls later then?"

"You betcha!" Rowena laughed, locking eyes with Sirius, but he had already looked away.

They met up with Remus and Peter after lunch, both were in the library, Remus was looking up every book on potions; it had become a search of his, to find a cure of his werewolf form. He was very closely getting obsessive with his search, spending every free moment pouring over books. Sometimes Sirius didn't know how to talk to Remus about his 'condition', they all knew how much it affected him, and not just at the full moon, the wolf was always inside him and he hated it, it drew away from his features, made him lose sleep and grow tired easily. That was why they had decided to become anamagi illegally in their fifth year, when they had finally learned his secret that had wanted to help him in every way they could, he was extremely grateful of course, but the burden was still his to carry. So far his search had been in vain, as far as he could research, no one had been able to overcome the symptoms, only tame them slightly, which the marauders had already managed to do with the help of their animal forms.

Sirius flopped down on a vacant chair, Remus didn't look up, his thoughts stayed with the words he was reading. Sirius studied his best friend carefully; the weight weighing down the corner of his almond shaped amber eyes, the slight frown pulling on the edge of his mouth, the crinkled tee-shirt that clung in the wrong spots on his slight frame. Remus and Sirius had always had a close friendship, in ways that students outside their group would never understand, the quiet intelligent one and the loud quirky one didn't seem to fit, but in unknown ways, they did. Remus didn't ask for help for his problems and neither did Sirius, they were both silent in their pride. Sirius got the greatest pleasure out of the smallest things and so did Remus, the reassuring touch of a friend, trunks with brass buckles, slowly melting ice-cream. They had silent needs that they fulfilled in the small hours of the dawn, limbs thrown together, hands uncertainly searching, lips knocking against lips, teeth bruising shoulders, muffled gasps, uncertain feelings, but no regret.

**Author's note: **A new story! Some new ideas! I'm really very excited about starting this fic, and I promise this one I will finish. I wasn't too sure about MacNair's first name and couldn't be bothered to look it up, so Todd is incorrect, sorry. I'm liking the complexity to this fic, and the layers are only going to continue to emerge, so enjoy and please review. xx


	2. The Midnight Hour

**Falling Double**

**Chapter 2 – The Midnight Hour**

**Disclaimer: **All characters, spells, world entities and general Harry Potter terms are the property of JK Rowling. The plot of Falling Double, original characters and ideas are the property of Frayed Misfit. Any song lyrics, poems and other inspiration will be in italics and duly noted in the authors note.

The night had not long risen when it stilled, halting its meanderings to lament the tangled feelings of the teenage boys, the midnight hour grieved for what was to come.

Sirius sat awake at the fireside, aimlessly watching the shapes in the flames flicker and die, constantly transforming into new loves and old regrets. A deep black coal burned strong like a wolf, advancing towards the other shapes with menace, while a small un-quivering coal, that took the form of a large dog, lifted its muzzle in friendship. Rapid footsteps in the common room behind him made Sirius stir from his reverie to face the other. Remus.

"I guess you couldn't sleep either, hey Padfoot." Lupin approached the sofa, stopping behind it to let out a little defeated sigh. His pajamas had been roughly slept in and his dark blonde hair stood up at odd angels, his eyes were still sleep deprived and he looked much older than his 17 years.

Sirius offered a small smile, alighting the small dimple on his left cheek. "Yeah, I guess. Too much to think about, with the Serpents and Prongs and Lily, and you …"

Lupin traced the small of Sirius' neck whilst taking his time to look into the deep embers of the slowly dying fire, he saw many things take shape within the flames but dared not speak his fears aloud, he was much weaker than Sirius and was afraid of what speaking would do.

"At least we have the map now, it will make our task of following the Serpents much easier. With their meeting on Friday we will surely learn something to our advantage and then we can act. Don't let them get you down, we're not aurors, we're just trying our best." Lupin spoke calmly, he took his position with Dumbledore very seriously and believed strongly in their cause.

"I know, I just wish there was something I could do now! People, muggles, are dying out there right now Moony! It's not good enough if we just sit here and grovel at Malfoy's feet in a vain attempt to learn something, we need to do more." Sirius spoke passionately, clenching and unclenching his fists, his face turned away from Remus so he wouldn't see the emotion captured there. All of this was so much more personal for Sirius, they all knew that. He was fighting his family, his childhood friends, all that he was taught and all that his parents believed in, Remus couldn't even begin to imagine how hard that would be.

"Padfoot, Sirius, you know there is nothing we can do now, hell, we're just in school, no one expects us to do anything, we are already doing more than anyone asked. I know, I know this is hard for you." Remus tried to comfort, to explain but he knew it was useless.

"Oh don't give me that bullshit. Don't feel sorry for me, I don't feel sorry for you and you're a werewolf, I don't feel sorry for myself or for us. Just stop all this caring Remus, it doesn't mean anything, ok. The kisses, the everything, just stop it." Sirius' voice had reached a high point, he buried his head in his hands and took a few deep breaths. "I just need to get out of here."

Remus sighed, they had talked a lot about all of this and what it meant, and Remus had tried to tell Sirius that he couldn't hide from the feelings they had for each other. Sirius maintained that it would stay a secret and that it was 'wrong' that he was already messed up enough and he wasn't going to change the world from being with Remus.

However, Remus knew how love changed the course of the world, how it caused horrific destruction and overwhelming success. The love that Sirius, James and Peter had given to Remus over the years was invaluable, never had he been loved in that way, cared for on such a level, and he wouldn't trade it for the world. His feelings for Sirius went to the next level and Sirius was too scared, to defiant to admit that.

"You can't keep running Sirius. I want you to stay, I trust in you." Remus whispered, unaware if Sirius was even listening.

"I don't want all of that anymore Remus, I'm going to ask Rowena out again. This is wrong, I feel like I'm lying all the time, especially to James, and it's not real. It's all fake Remus." Shaking his head, he left the sofa, crushing his foot harshly into the dying flames, extinguishing the fire to the cold room. Brushing past Remus he kept his focus on the wall, escaping into the corridor beyond before collapsing onto the cold stone floor, tears racking his emotions.

Back in the common room, Remus watched the dying fire and saw it as a metaphor of his life, slowly being suffocated by Sirius, "I'm addicted to you." He murmured into the soft zephyrs of the midnight hour.

**Author's note: **yes, it's very short but I didn't want to include anything else in this chapter and make it solely about Remus and Sirius. I'm going onto the next chapter now, so you'll have your update soon, my lovelies. xx


	3. This is Tomorrow

**Falling Double**

**Chapter 3 – This is Tomorrow**

**Disclaimer: **All characters, spells, world entities and general Harry Potter terms are the property of JK Rowling. The plot of Falling Double, original characters and ideas are the property of Frayed Misfit. Any song lyrics, poems and other inspiration will be in italics and duly noted in the authors note.

The next day was calm and even, it spread its light over the school and protected for the time.

James Potter leaned forward into the group, his head almost touching Peter's, speaking in a low harsh whisper.

"They are planning an attack for next Hogsmede weekend, some kind of mass murder. Malfoy was blubbering about a charm that makes it snow, causing all the students to congregate in the Three Broomsticks, it's there they'll stage the attack. We have to alert Dumbledore."

Sirius shook his head quickly, "No Prongs! We can handle this ourselves, intervene, confront them on their way to Hogsmede, take them out one by one."

"This isn't about revenge Sirius, this is about saving peoples lives, we need to tell Dumbledore to cancel the trip." Remus locked eyes with Sirius as he spoke, his voice merely above a whisper but it contained traces of frustration, when was Sirius going to put his pride behind him and focus on helping people.

"I agree with Sirius, it's better if we stop them, let them know that we aren't going to let this kind of thing continue, let them know that we will stand against them." Peter nodded in Sirius' direction, his eyes alight with passion.

"This is ridiculous!" James let out a vent of anger, lifting a hand to his head, "You both know it is. Have you thought about the consequences if we fail? Half the school annihilated, we'd be dead too, not much use to anyone, let alone Dumbledore, if we're dead. Don't be stupid, there is no way we can handle something this big ourselves, not even my ego stretches that far."

"I'm not stupid, don't think I haven't thought about ways to back up our counter-attack, don't think I haven't thought strategies!" Sirius hissed, moving his chair closer into the circle.

"Oh what strategies this time Padfoot! We morph into our anamagi forms, you scare them off with your barks while I butt them with my antlers! Oh and yeah Peter can bite anyone who tries to get away, it's not the full moon so Remus can sit back and watch! Get real Sirius, this is not a game, and I won't let you jeopardize people's lives." James huffed, his hands crossed firmly over his chest.

"Lily's life! Stop putting your love life before friends James, frankly I'm getting sick of it." Sirius spat, running a hand through his black hair before pushing his chair roughly aside and striding out of the library. Peter looked hopefully after him.

"Great, now he's in a huff and we have a serious case to discuss, what the hell is wrong with him today? It's not like I was even talking about Lily, half the school will be down there, including you three, I couldn't cope if something happened to any of you. I'm going to talk to Dumbledore, this is way beyond our capabilities, and it's my duty to the school." James sighed, he hated going against his friend's wishes but this was everything, this was life and death, it wasn't a midnight duel with Snape, it wasn't asking a girl out, this was Lord Voldemort, heck he could even be there! Since James had become head boy, his priorities had seriously changed, he was looked up to by so many of the students, Dumbledore expected him to fulfill his role, his chance to show people he wasn't just a show off or Sirius' best friend. It was Sirius who was being selfish about this, he let his own issues with his family enter into a serious situation, James didn't have the heart to tell him so, but someone would have to.

"I'll come with you, you know I'm with you James, this is beyond us, I'm not going to pretend we can handle this, it's ridiculous. I guess Sirius is just grumpy, he'll come around, he didn't mean that, about Lily, you know." Remus lifted a hand to place on James' shoulder, if there was one thing Remus knew about his best friend, and that was that he would always be loyal to those he loved, Lily would never come between them, no matter how much he loved her.

"Well I'm getting sick of him being 'grumpy' all the time, it's not like him and when I try to talk to him he just shrugs it off or puts it onto me. It's not like before anymore Moony, when we would all talk about everything, it's like we aren't all best friends anymore now that other things are taking priority. Girls, NEWT's, family, all this serpent stuff, me being head boy, you a prefect, quidditch, we don't have time to just be ourselves together anymore, and it's stupid. I guess we all have secrets, but before we wanted to share them, wanted help and to be comforted, now we are all alone." James leaned back in his chair, a frown creasing his forehead, "You'd still tell me everything though, right? I don't want you to hold things back from me, you know I'd never judge you, hell you're my best friend."

Remus didn't look up, the guilt in his stomach threatening to open up, what would James do if he found out about he and Sirius, would he accuse them of holding secrets against him, would he be disgusted, repulsed, would he not want to be friends anymore? Staring at the space between his shoes he swallowed his guilt and lifted his head.

"Remus?" James inquired, his face contoured with concern.

"Sirius and I have been seeing each other, I wanted to tell you, Sirius wouldn't let me, he hates it, he refused to admit what he is, shit, it's horrible, I'm sorry." Remus spat he words out like a disease, his head spinning, his heart threatening to beat out of control, now that the words had started they couldn't stop. "I'd always liked him, you know, never liked girls and then well we just kissed, last year, and it's been going on since then and he's been denying it and I hate the way that makes me feel, and I hate what this means and what it doesn't mean. Last night he said he didn't want to keep doing it anymore and I don't want this to ruin anything and I hate holding this all back from you and Peter."

James laid a quiet hand on Remus' shoulder, it seemed to steady the both of them, James' mouth opened and closed, fighting for the words to say what he felt, "Well that was a surprise."

Remus lifted his eyes to James' and when they connected both boys broke into quiet sobs and clung to each other, scared of what to say, but relieved that there was no more distance between them.

After a short while James pulled back, holding Remus at arms length, "Fuck, I don't care! This doesn't change anything, besides our sleeping arrangements! I thought you were going to say you were a vampire and could I please lend you some blood!"

Both let out relieved laughs, Remus had stopped shaking and found it surprising that he knew that this was how James would react, and was ashamed he hadn't confided in him earlier. "I don't know how you put up with me! First I'm a werewolf and now I'm gay too!"

"Come on, lets get some lunch, and well, I won't say anything to Sirius, I think it's best if he tells me in his own time." James smiled, glad that he and Remus were still friends, nothing would come between them now, he was sure of it.

**Author's note: **Sorry for all the conversations and such, I'm just getting all the relationships and character building out of the way so I can work on the plot. Not sure even if anyone is reading this as I haven't gotten any reviews, but I'll keep writing anyway, fills some spaces in my life anyhow. This is another short chapter, I know, but at least I am writing!


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